this si gonna be like something totally random and full of angst. yeah,it's like in that song of john lennon 'working class hero' When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years, Then they expect you to pick a career, When you can't really function you're so full of fear, A working class hero is something to be, shite,it's not like it's that awful...just that for me it is... i can't figure out what to pick for myself. should it be arts or history or maybe ecology?! should i stay here or go to england?
and it's not about the freackin' choices it's about the fact that i can't really see myself in nothing. i can't see myself doing anything. i just can't. and it's typical for a lot of people who are about to finish highschool. it's like for 11 years you do whatever (i'm talking about the folks that are to have their say not about those that are gonna do whatever mommy and daddy say,ya bitches) and then in your final year you're like what the fuck am i gonna do after this???? and the answer is ... the answer is... the fuckin' answer isn't. it's just... not there. you're gonna fuckin' hope for a fuckin good bacalaureat grade and go to wherever or you're finished. dead meat. seriously. i'm there. as in nowhere. nothing fucking says anything to meh.and it's not just me!!! i'm not the only crazy here. pleanty of people say that they have no fucking clue what they're gonna do after high school. or they're doing some shit just to get a bloody degree. i mean... only a few really get t o do what they really like and want. and that's shite. especially because of the fucking college that won't fuckin teach you anyhing. i mean...no one's there to tell you 'hey,you're really good at this, you should go to this university!' it's not like i wanna do what i'm told... it's just that,FUCK! i don't know shite about what to do after highschool i need some fucking guidelines,isn't this supposed to be something they do for you in school??the basterds!.i did this shitty test about working orientation and guess what i turned out to have skills for architecture, film,teaching,and shite like social working and nutritional help like wow! that's like so meeee! those shitty tests won't help you when you're in your final years. if you do them like earlier...maybe... but,shite... i'm like sooo fucked! i'm not even learning for the shitty exam. i'm like 'yeah,it's like for any regular retard to get by with a fine shinny grade like 8-9 or more,especially if the retard is in a humanity class,like I AM' sooo how can i evern start learning? when i take it sooo easy.??? it's just that i have my truth in this and it's hard not to stick with it.i mean...i f i'm not gonna put an end to the pollution and corruption then why botter? if i'm just gonna be the regular passerby,then fuck it! rather fuck it. one more stejar for this one,mister!