a long way down

i'm reading this awesome book about four sucidals. it's called 'A long way down' and it's written by this guy Nick Hornby. first this kind of reading is not what i would call 'literature', but then again, it seems to myself they kind of stopped making that a while ago ... it's human, though, not symphatetic - they way the book is written, i mean. it's like the cruel bitting reallity that everyone is facing and needs no more symphaty than you and me need cuz it's like there's always some kind of shit out there for each and every single one of us. it's a mundane situation.
suicide itself is kind of mundane.or at least should. i mean, this Maureen charecter, who is the mother of a 20 years old veggetable son, her life was a complite waste of tiem. she never had fun and then she ended up with a vegetable son on top of that all. all she had was curch! geez, ain't that totally fucked up?! and it's like at a point in the book she realises that she 'liked to think about Cosmic Tony (an invention) much more than she liked thinking about god' - and she was like 120% christian. it like church was her only comfort. and church was punishment. so her comfort was punishment. ain't that what anyone needs when they're felling down? punishment! for fuck's sake, how can people become crestini without not being total cretini?!huh?!
anyway,christianism wasn't the point here...
it's how JJ put it at the beginning. 'suicide wasn't invented for people like that'.suicide is somehow 'kewl'. ken? as he said it's something guys like Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath and Kurt Cobain (although he didn't!) do.' you know, people with sensitive nature'. that is people we kind of look up to - the irony!
the deal is that so many people live their lives basically because nothing killed them yet. they don't live for something - they just don't die, it's quite simple. but is so dumb. just consider things this way: most of the people are chronically unhappy or chronically living shitty lives. and it's like what's the point? they sould all comit sucide and put an end to their misery. it's not cowardly to do it when you know for sure there's nothing for you out there. i mean that thing with 'do nature a favour: kill yourself!' is not just a phrase, it's pretty damn reasonable.
think about what people do to nature, to the poor animals, and on top of it all they're not even happy!(how could they when they're destroying the basis of their own life on this planet...but that's a different matter already...blah) selfish bastards that we are! - destroying everything around us for our selfish NEEDS, more like UNNECESARY WANTS, and gaining nothing than stress,polution, plastic, food that contains basically the same shit that our detergents and shampoo are.straight face.
this was supposed to be about suicide. somehow it all comes to the polution these days. the cause must be this bloody unnatural temperatures.